Description : Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
Description : Now that I’m a mom, I know the most painful part isn’t getting something giant through your hooha. It’s having a real live child. If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo’s organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino’s pizza on speed dial, do not read this book. But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won’t put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald’s for a special treat but really it’s because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book. I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert’s honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you’re smart and read it there.
Description : A brilliant and heartbreaking novel perfect for fans of Thirteen Reasons Why. Aysel and Roman are practically strangers, but they've been drawn into an unthinkable partnership. In a month's time, they plan to commit suicide - together. Aysel knows why she wants to die: being the daughter of a murderer doesn't equal normal, well-adjusted teenager. But she can't figure out why handsome, popular Roman wants to end it all....and why he's even more determined than she is. With the deadline getting closer, something starts to grow between Aysel and Roman - a feeling she never thought she would experience. It seems there might be something to live for, after all - but is Aysel in so deep she can't turn back?
Description : With her signature wit, AK Turner deftly slays all the dragons separating "life with kids" from "life with travel and adventure." Determined to prove that long-term travel need not be reserved for the lone male traveler, Turner tackles obstacles including working while traveling, affording an extended trip, pulling kids out of school, and what to do with them once you've done so. With stories from the author's experiences in a dozen locations around the globe, and the honest and hilarious admissions of her fears along the way, Vagabonding with Kids is a timely affirmation of why we should all journey forth.
Description : NATIONAL BESTSELLER A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Advance praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear From the Trade Paperback edition.
Description : The collection of poems Ive chosen to share are pieces of my emotional journey; they show how Ive grown as a poet and how these words can almost seem to bleed with emotion yet serve as Band-Aids to the temporary holes in my heart. The words provided a comfort when nothing else did.
Description : Swiss Cheese Heart follows two girls who meet in the first grade, become lifelong friends, and share an unbelievable bond throughout their lives. Rae Jean is Katrina's exact opposite. Strong, well adjusted, and professional, Katrina is a foil to Rae Jean's problem life filled with alcohol abuse, parental distress, and a torrid love life. Born to addicted parents, Rae Jean's life is declining rapidly while Katrina helps her best friend with whatever problems she faces. Through divorce, murder, addiction, poverty, and illness, the two cling to each other and their bond is never broken. Life can be messy, chaotic, and heartbreaking, but also beautiful, rewarding, and honest. Both sides are portrayed in this stunning novel. A best friend is a person one can tell anything, the one who does not judge or lie to us, and the one who never leaves us because our life is too dramatic. Swiss Cheese Heart takes place in Northern Kentucky and is full to the brim with real life drama. About the Author: Vicki Thornberry is a retired English teacher in Southgate, Kentucky, about a mile from Cincinnati, Ohio. The character of Katrina is my voice.Through her, I tell the reader what I think about love, life, health care, poverty, and dysfunction. The author writes from the heart and from real life experiences, having lost three good friends to lung cancer and her daughter to a heart condition. Publisher's website: http: //SBPRA.com/VickiLThornberr
Description : In 1966, at just twenty-two, Richard Goldstein approached the Village Voice with a novel idea. 'I want to be a rock critic,' he said. 'What's that?' the editor replied. It was a logical question, since rock criticism didn't yet exist. In the weekly column he would produce for the Voice, Goldstein became the first person to write regularly in a major publication about the music that was changing everyone's lives. He believed deeply in the power of rock, and, long before it was acceptable, he championed the idea that this music was a serious art form. From his unique position in journalism, Richard Goldstein witnessed the full arc of events that shaped culture and politics in the 1960s ? and participated in them, too. He toured with Janis Joplin, spent a day at the Grateful Dead house in San Francisco, got stoned with Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys, and was in the front row when Jimi Hendrix burned his first guitar at the Monterey Pop Festival. He was present for Martin Luther King's 'I Have a Dream' speech, the student uprising at Columbia and the riots at the 1968 Democratic Convention. He was challenged to a boxing match by Norman Mailer and took Susan Sontag to her first disco. Goldstein developed close relationships with several rock legends ? Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison, to name two ? and their early deaths came each time as a wrenching shock, fuelling his disillusionment as he watched the music he loved rapidly evolve from a communal rite into a vast industry and felt the sense of hope for radical social upheaval fade away. Another Little Piece of My Heart is an intimate memoir of the writer as a young man. It is also a sweeping personal account that no one else could provide ? a deeply moving, unparalleled document of rock and revolution in America.
Description : Life and death struggles, a common thread that connects us as human beings, are vividly revealed in this inspirational and unforgettable true story as told by a mother and her daughter of their babies, born with life threatening birth defects. Swept away on an uncharted and treacherous journey one thing clearly emerges, God, the ultimate thread that held them together through their darkest hours, was waiting for them there. He gave them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness so He might be glorified through their babies’ life and death struggles. (Isaiah 61: 3b) At every bend in the road lives were forever changed. The baby boy unable to ever speak a word about what he endured in his fight for life went to his grave never knowing what a giant impression his tiny handprint had left on every heart he touched...leaving this world a better place than he found it. For the little girl, the veil separating Heaven and Earth was lifted . . . “Mommy, I see an angel!” Hoping to get a glimpse, her mommy searched the hospital room eagerly. “Where do you see an angel?” her mommy asked. She pointed overhead, “Up there . . . in the corner of my room . . . one angel with big, pink wings.” Although her mommy didn’t see the Heavenly being, together they felt the comfort of its presence. On their timeless journey of faith, hope, and love, their loving God went with them through it all: healing hearts, changing lives, sharing their deepest sorrows, and sending his angels to comfort and help them. Their stories, formed in the crucible of life and death struggles, were transformed by the grace of God into a thing of beauty. “He hath made every thing beautiful in his time.” (Ecclesiastes 3: 11a, KJV)