Thats Not How Mommy Does It

And Jen Klein knows motherhood. She's survived changing a soiled diaper in a truck-stop bathroom while suspending a baby in mid-air. She's witnessed the judgment of the so-called "Mommy Mafia." She's found dried applesauce on her shirt. And in her hair. And the baby's hair. And the dog's fur. Here she reveals secrets she's learned along the way about mastering the art of motherhood, from how to handle strangers who ask how much weight you've gained to (finally!) getting them on the big yellow bus--on time and with clean underwear. Inside SheKnows.com Presents: The Mommy Files you'll find: Your mom didn't know what she was doing either A pediatrician is your partner, not your adversary Playgroups are for moms more than they are for kids Just because they can talk doesn't mean they can reason Being a supermom is all about asking for help Disclosed here in a friendly, wry look at motherhood, Jen Klein takes you through each lovable (and less than enjoyable) step toward that coveted title that will be screamed at you so many times in the years to come: "Mommy!"

Humorously describes how children can identify if their mothers have become zombies, and what to do in the event of a zombie invasion. Presented in picture-book, rhyming format.

The purpose of the work/life balance series is to highlight particular challenges that higher education faculty face as they participate in the demands of the academy and try to prevent those demands from invading their personal lives. On The High Wire looks at a specific subset of university faculty, education faculty with school-aged children, and the specific professional/personal balance these faculty need to find. The title On the High Wire suggests the precarious nature of the “walk” for education faculty who are parents of school-aged children. We know that our identities are central to how we experience the world and how the world reacts to us. This reality is clearly visible in this book. These multiple identities and roles come into conflict at multiple points and in different ways. This book explores these identities and roles through autoethnographic accounts written by varied education faculty in order to make these tensions visible for the field to address.

As humans charge up the steep slope of technological innovation, Digital Age media increasingly shapes our perception of everything--even spiritual matters. The next stage of spiritual development may be the product of a digital interface between our own image of the divine, virtual reality technology that produces real perceptions, and with devices that stimulate areas of the brain associated with spiritual experience. This book explores the influence of digital media on spirituality and the impact of the digital environment on our experience of the spiritual world. The author predicts a future in which digital technology and neuroscience will combine to create a new understanding of the divine.

Goodbye, Board Room and Legal Briefs--Hello, Dimples, Diapers, and Destruction Women know that raising children will be different from climbing the corporate ladder. But nothing can truly prepare them for the mind-muddling world of motherhood. It doesn't take long for a new mom to question whether her tyrannical, diapered boss really understands her value to the organization. Because honestly? She's not always sure herself. With her signature wit, lawyer-turned-full-time-mommy Sarah Parshall Perry says what all new moms are thinking when they trade annual reports for homework help and yoga pants. Perry invites moms to laugh alongside her amidst the "Are you kidding me?!" moments that come with the job of raising humans. This book is story of every mother who gives up one thing to get something better--and ends up finding out what she's worth along the way.

This is a story about a pretty high school cheerleader who was spending more time with the football players than cheering. She got pregnant and was turned away by the babys father and kicked out of her home at the age of eighteen with no place to go and no money. This was only the beginning of the most horrible things that would happen to this young girl over the next six months until she found Mrs. Topkis, who took Jenny in and helped her with her new baby boy, whom she called Rome. Mrs. Topkis fell asleep while watching him in the park one day, and he was kidnapped. This little five-year-old boy was put through holy hell until he was placed in a county home for abandoned children. His new mama was Sonny, and he was well looked after at the home. He excelled in football and went to college on a scholarship and became very famous. His girlfriend was killed in an auto accident, which ended his football career. He took a job in Delaware and met this beautiful young girl who wanted to take him home to meet her mother. That meeting was a nightmare.

Endorsement for Released, Book 1 ~ “A curmudgeonly ex-con senior citizen, a little girl named Bea, and her addict mother. An unlikely trio crosses paths on the road to redemption from their pasts in small town Nebraska—with a little help from above. With true-to-life grit and characters you love to love (and some you love to hate), RELEASED is a fresh slice of hope in a world of injured souls." —Tosca Lee, NYT bestselling author of Progeny In Released: Ex-con. Nobody cares ... except a tiny girl named Bea. Clarence was locked up in prison for sixty years. Now he’s free in a nursing home. Still imprisoned by his angry heart. He’s been set up. Bea’s mommy, Katty—brutally abused by a former boyfriend. She follows her family’s tradition for living and parenting. Until the boyfriend comes back for their daughter. In Rescued: A pool—sink hole, really—in small town Nebraska. It’s either a blessing or a curse, depending on the heart of the person who explores it. Ex-con Clarence and germaphobe Noell, are both being drawn to the pool. Clarence finds a yellowed newspaper article about it, stuck in his old law textbook. Noell stumbles across journals, documenting pool drownings back in 1937, in her vintage camper. Both dive in—or rather, Clarence falls in. Neither bargain for what they find. In Restored: Clarence is set up. Again. Just when he and Harold Dexter scheme to create an agency—Harold is the detective, and Clarence the put-em-away lawyer—Clarence is dragged away to prison ... again. This sets off a string of events: Katty digs through Clarence’s files to find a way to free him—only to be confronted with the shock of her life, and with Clarence out of the way, evil Phil has free access to Katty and his little girl, Bea. Noell has to face her own nightmares and the reality of her gift—or is it a curse? Buy the Collection to engage Clarence’s story now! The Great Escapee Series Box Series includes: Released Book #1 Rescued Book #2 Restored Book #3

Rugged doctor Reeve Snyder had saved her and delivered her baby girl. He was her hero—the kind of man she would have liked to have as a friend…a lover…a father for her baby. If only…. Polly Black had been running from something—someone—when the accident had landed her in Reeve's care. He didn't want her gratitude; he wanted the truth, and he wanted her—for the three of them to be a family. Somehow he had to convince Polly that the only place worth running to…was straight into his arms.

Xavier Carlton is my mom’s gorgeous landlord. He’s growly, handsome, and sooo delicious. But he’s going to kick my mom out of her apartment unless I call him Daddy. My mom has never been great at paying bills. She’s not poor, she’s just forgetful sometimes. So when she tells me that Mr. Carlton wants her out, I get angry. Who does this man think he is? Sure, Xavier Carlton has more money than God, but that doesn’t give him the right to act like a tyrant. So I storm into his office… His blue eyes seize mine … … and suddenly, I realize I’m in over my head. Because when he rises from behind his desk, I see that Mr. Carlton has an enormous present for me! But then, the powerful CEO takes me by surprise because he says I can do something special to qualify for a one-time rent break. But am I willing to take the chance when it involves calling the handsome man DADDY? This story is a forbidden, sweet and steamy tale filled with an OVER THE TOP alpha male and a sassy, feisty girl with a strong will. Katie likes lollipops and Xavier Carlton enjoys teaching her the benefits of eating candy. Warning: light DD/lg age play ahead. No cheating, no cliffhangers, and always an HEA for my readers.

When Sydney is asked to work up an advertising pitch to sell the Catholic Church to the unwashed masses, she's distinctly uncomfortable. After all, she's agnostic herself and, despite assistance from easy-on-the-eye-but-obviously-celibate Father Giuliani, she just can't stop blaspheming. But, work apart, things are lathering up nicely for our heroine when the chance throw of a pen brings gorgeous Jake into the frame. And then it's a downhill path to fist-date sex, polite kidnap and a spot of breaking and entering. Selling your soul and scrubbing it whiter than white has surely never been so easy...

For fans of Anne Lamott, a profoundly moving memoir of rediscovering, reinventing, and reconnecting, as an estranged mother and daughter come together to revive a long-abandoned garden and ultimately their relationship and themselves. Peeling paint, stained floors, vined-over windows, a neglected and wild garden—Tara Austen Weaver can’t get the Seattle real estate listing out of her head. Any sane person would have seen the abandoned property for what it was: a ramshackle half-acre filled with dead grass, blackberry vines, and trouble. But Tara sees potential and promise—not only for the edible bounty the garden could yield for her family, but for the personal renewal she and her mother might reap along the way. So begins Orchard House, a story of rehabilitation and cultivation—of land and soul. Through bleak winters, springs that sputter with rain and cold, golden days of summer, and autumns full of apples, pears, and pumpkins, this evocative memoir recounts the Weavers’ trials and triumphs, detailing what grew and what didn’t, the obstacles overcome and the lessons learned. Inexorably, as mother and daughter tend this wild patch and the fruits of their labor begin to flourish, green shoots of hope emerge from the darkness of their past. For everyone who has ever planted something that they wished would survive—or tried to mend something that seemed forever broken—Orchard House is a tale of healing and growth set in a most unlikely place. Praise for Orchard House “This touching memoir chronicles how the act of transforming a garden together—of ‘planting hope’—helps a mother and daughter reconnect and revive the sense of groundedness that had been lost within their relationship and themselves. . . . [Orchard House] deftly [captures] the love, laughter, trials and tears that make motherhood the joy and job it truly is.”—American Way “Honest and moving . . . [the story of] one woman’s initiation into intensive gardening with her mother, which changed a neglected space into something beautiful and bountiful and shifted their relationship as well.”—Kirkus Reviews “Fascinating, tender, often heartbreaking . . . The perfect gift for a mother or a daughter with an appreciation for the transformative power of gardening.”—HGTV Gardens “A wise exploration of family roots . . . Nurturing a garden is a lovely metaphor for healing a family. . . . [Orchard House] could serve as a handbook for both.”—Shelf Awareness “With buoyant grace and empathic insights, Weaver offers an ardent tribute to both the science of perseverance and the art of letting go.”—Booklist “This is a glorious book—lyrical, honest, compassionate, and wise. It reminds us that gardens and families are messy businesses, but from them we can harvest hope and food and moments of grace.”—Erica Bauermeister, author of The School of Essential Ingredients “Filled with sensuous descriptions, this beguiling story enchants. Gardeners and non-gardeners alike will delight in this lyrical tale of how a garden grows a family.”—Diana Abu-Jaber, author of The Language of Baklava and Birds of Paradise “Orchard House is a glorious and deeply moving story of one family’s redemption. If Anne Lamott and Wendell Berry ever had a literary love child, Tara Austen Weaver might well be her.”—Elissa Altman, author of Poor Man’s Feast

Many years ago, she was tricked into his bed, and the charming night was extremely cozy. She unwillingly became a street mouse in her heart, and many years later, when they met again, she was still in his bed. "Plotted against me?" "What Mr. Lin said is not right. I am not the only one feeling good. How can I be called scheming?" In order to find out the reason for her mother's death, she brought her child back to the city ... 

When the mind becomes thoughtless during the night, it's a sign that we are looking for something inexplicable to be around us. Horrid Tales of an Awaken Mind brings help for those who love thriller tales and stories that have a touch of mystery and horror in it. Read and surprise yourself with the most surprising and unique endings in each tale. Remember, you're still to be awaken, so open your mind. Horrid Tales of an Awaken Mind is a collection of tales by Donnefar Skedar A complete volume full of frightening stories to hold your attention down until the very end of each of them, where the horror dominates the paragraphs to make your mind imagine and create the most varied sorts of obscure elements. Those are tales that cativate not only for the author's creativity but also because it shows us that there will always be fear in the deepest places of our minds, beyond reasoning, no matter if it takes the shape of an animal, a ghost or even sometimes... death itself.

Gracie is a precocious six-year-old little girl who loves her mommy and daddy, her friends, and has a fun life. Her Mommy and Daddy have a very big secret, but they have not told her yet! How will Gracie handling finding out that her parents adopted her? Follow Gracie thru six more stories to see how she handles moving, new friends-new school, and a new brother. See life thru the eyes of a precocious six-year-old girl named Gracie. She how she deals with adoption; moving, new friends and new school; and the biggest change ever, getting a new brother!

When Michael and Kennedy, the envy of their tight circle of friends, begin receiving threatening phone calls and emails, they find their once rock-solid marriage slowly unraveling as an unknown enemy reveals an intimate secret. Original.

Bitches Brew: in the hands of Blackjack Nutmeg. the novel partly inspired by Miles’s Davis 1970’s Jazz album, explores the bend riffs and hard-times many good men experience in turbulent relationships with their significant others (women) in their lives. Bitches Brew exposes and sheds light on many hidden agenda and wrongs the woman/women play in the role of the deconstruction of humanism along with exposing many of the things women might have always wanted to know in regards of a man’s TRUE feelings. And although the project carries the authors of Kenny Attaway & Ghetto English Rock and primarily centers around the lives of Dallas (leading character) and his friends Sal, Aston and Justin, over 200 different men hardships and tribulations have been packed into the novel. Bitches Brew not only explores the troubled relations THE MEN share with their significant others/women in their lives, but the hardships with the other woman in their lives such as their mother (s), daughter (s), sisters and grandmothers. Written and encrusted in/with the life spices of compassionate, honest, wits, understanding and realism--Bitches Brew is one of the best-written, honest and most personal memoirs of our lifetime.

27 short stories. 27 narrators. 1 terrifying puzzle. There’s something disquieting about a town with too many twins, a killer pie, and a man with two different color eyes. When Cain, a devilish stranger with a candle wax smile, moves into a rural southern town people are brutally murdered with alarming rapidity. It’s up to a band of curious high schoolers, a decrepit hermit, and a grieving mortician to solve the riddle and keep the town from being destroyed. That is if they can survive cannibalistic dentists, body-snatching demons, and oftentimes worst of all, each other. {Smile} is a horror novel made up of 27 short stories narrated by 27 unique voices. Each story is told in alphabetical order by title, but when combined they interweave to tell an intense and twisted tale about one man/demon/thing’s quest to become human through manipulation and murder.